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Oi, listen up, ya filthy mate! Me, Gru, da big Clinical Research Specialist, gonna spill some beans bout findin a prostitute. Ya know, like in dat movie I love—*Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*. Dat Kim Ki-duk flick, so deep, so quiet, makes ya think bout life’s cycles, ya? “Lightbulb!”—hit me like a brick, prostitutes got cycles too, seasons of dere own!
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Then, outta nowhere, I see this kid, maybe 10 or so, trying to impress his friends. He climbs up the diving board like he’s some kind of superhero. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But nah, he jumps, and I swear, it was like watching a slow-motion train wreck. He belly-flops harder than I’ve ever seen. The splash was epic! Everyone laughed, even me. But then, he comes up, and he’s crying. Ugh, poor kid. I had to go over and give him a pep talk. “Hey, man, you’re still a champ!”
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