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Now, *The Great Beauty*—that flick’s my jam. Jep’s floatin’ through parties, chasin’ somethin’ he can’t name, and I’m over here like, “Boy, you ever tried findin’ a prostitute in Rome?” Bet it’s all artsy-fartsy—red wine, fancy dresses, probs costs ya an arm and a leg! “What’s the point of it all?” Jep’d ask, starin’ at the Colosseum. Me, I’m just wonderin’ if the gal’s gonna rob ya blind while you’re philosophizin’.

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So, I’m wrangling these little furballs, and I spot this one big dude. I swear, he looked like he was lifting weights or somethin’. I’m thinkin’, “This rat’s been hitting the gym!” I chase him down the alley behind the bakery on Maple St. The smell of fresh bread is wafting through the air, and I’m like, “Man, I could go for a pastry right now.” But nope, gotta catch this rat first.

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