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So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.
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Anyway, I finally get to the office on Station Rd. and boom! My phone’s blowing up. It’s my boss, and he’s like, “We need to talk about the event.” Ugh, the event. The one I’ve been planning for weeks. I thought I had it all sorted. But nooo, he wants to change the venue. Like, are you kidding me? We were set to go at the Clane Community Centre! It’s perfect! But now he wants to move it to some random spot on the outskirts. I’m fuming.
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He will forever be the Mayor of Clane and I’m sure his dulcet tones will be heard from above. Tributes have been pouring in from across Clane and Co Kildare and even further afield for a “true gentlemen” whose kindness.Clane Prostitute
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