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About Waterford

D’oh! Sexual-massage, man, what a trip! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout it—like, it’s all handsy and steamy, right? I mean, who doesn’t wanna get rubbed down like a prized pig at the fair? Watched “Talk to Her” again last night—Pedro’s a freakin’ genius, y’know? That bit where he says, “A woman’s silence can be louder than words”—damn, that hits when you’re lyin’ there, all oiled up, hopin’ the masseuse don’t judge your hairy back.

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First off, I hit the road on Maple Ave. You know, the one with all those cute little cafes? I was craving a coffee from that spot, Brewed Awakenings. Best lattes in town, no cap. But guess what? They were closed! Like, seriously? Who closes at 8 AM? I was fuming. I mean, c’mon, it’s Cherry-Orchard!

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