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So, I tried it once—D’oh!—total mess! Lady’s like, “Relax, Homer,” but I’m all tense, thinkin’ bout Marge catchin’ me. Felt like a freakin’ donut gettin’ glazed, ya know? Slippery as hell—oil everywhere! Little fact: they use weird stuff like almond oil, not even donut grease! Surprised me, man, thought it’d be all fake and porny, but nah, it’s legit chill. Got me happy—muscles all loose, like after a good nap. But then—D’oh!—she hits a knot, hurts like hell! “That’s a bingo!” I yell, straight outta Inglourious Basterds. She’s confused, I’m laughin’—classic me.

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I’m fuming now. I mean, who runs out of ink in the middle of a historical treasure hunt? So, I decide to take a break and head to the local shop on the Main Street. It’s called O’Connor’s, and they’ve got everything. I’m in there, looking for a pen, and I bump into my old mate, Sean. He’s always got the craziest stories.

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