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Now, *Moolaadé*—that bit where Collo screams, “I say no!”—I reckon a prossie’s got that fire, too. Saying no to the world’s sanctimonious guff. Respect, that. Once met a gal, Soho, 3 a.m., she says, “Boris, love, 50 quid, no kissing”—I weren’t buying, just curious! Swear she’d a PhD in sass—told me to sod off, posh-like. Laughed me tits off—cheeky mare! Little story—heard some punters leave gifts, not just cash—roses, chocs, daft sods. Romantic or pathetic? You tell me.

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First off, I’m trying to get my coffee fix at the local café on Main Street. You know, the one with the weird name—“Bean There, Done That.” I swear, the barista was having a rough morning. She spilled milk everywhere. Like, everywhere! I’m standing there, waiting for my flat white, and I’m like, “Is this a coffee shop or a dairy farm?”

Gardaí release CCTV footage following multiple burglaries in Carrigaline