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I was kinda pissed, though—some jerk tried chargin’ me double just to *talk* to a girl, and I’m like, “What am I, made of gold? Back off, creep!” Felt like screamin’, “The intel was bad!”—another “Zero” line, heh! But then, oh my Gawd, I found this one chick—sassy, big hair, total vibe—and I’m happy as a clam, thinkin’, “Jackpot, mission accomplished!” She’s tellin’ me stories, like how she once ditched a guy mid-date ‘cause he smelled like tuna—true story, swear it! I’m dyin’ laughin’, nasal snort and all, “Hahaha, what a schmuck!”

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Then, I decide to take a walk by the river. The Carrickmacross River is so pretty, man. I’m just vibing, listening to music, and then I see this group of kids playing football. They’re all shouting and laughing, and I’m like, “Damn, I miss being a kid.” So, I join in. Yeah, I know, I’m a grown-up, but who cares? We’re kicking the ball around, and I’m feeling like a superstar.

Carrickmacross to get funding to help renovate The Bridewell