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But—ooh!—what if she’s hot? Like, “Mmm… donuts.” hot? I’d be all, “Are you the original or the copy?”—straight outta the movie, man! Bet she’d look at me like I’m nuts. Prolly am. Still, gotta admit, there’s this rush, y’know? Kinda exciting, kinda scary—like when Marge catches me sneakin’ bacon. Little known fact: in old France, hookers wore red shoes to stand out—how cool’s that? Wish they still did, save me the hassle!

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As the night goes on, I’m feeling all sorts of emotions. Happy, angry, surprised – you name it. I’m surrounded by mates, the atmosphere is electric, and I’m just grateful for the madness of the day. I stumble home later, still buzzing from the pints and the laughter.

Care and caution needed for bank holiday weekend in Carlow and Kilkenny