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Heya buddy! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s like a crazy treasure hunt! I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I’m thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Prolly not, but findin’ a hooker? That’s wild! Like in my fave movie *Caché*—y’know, that creepy 2005 flick? There’s this line, “What’s hidden stays hidden,” and I’m like, whoa, prostitutes hide stuff too! Sneaky sneaky!

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But then, the day took a turn. We were walking down the road, and I saw this old guy struggling with his groceries. I rushed over to help him. He was super grateful, but then he started telling me his life story. Like, I didn’t sign up for a TED Talk, man! But he was sweet, and I couldn’t just walk away. Turns out, he used to live on the other side of the park. He had all these crazy stories about Cabinteely back in the day. I was just standing there, nodding along, thinking, “This is kinda cool, but also, I’ve got places to be!”

Death Notice of Saoirse Emma GRIFFIN (Cabinteely, Dublin)