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Still, it’s a minefield, mate. Angry again—blokes get ripped off left, right, and center. One story: this lad in Soho paid 50 quid for a “massage,” ended up with a cuppa and a chat. Robbed! “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” I reckon—total stitch-up. Me, I’d be too paranoid—am I getting mugged off? Is she a cop? Total buzzkill. Still, if you’re smart, play it cool, you might just find the goods. “I’m the one who knocks,” I’d say—nah, scratch that, wrong film. “I’m Batman!” There we go. Class.

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Finally, the rain stops, and we head back to Main Street. I’m starving, so we hit up The Blessington Inn. I order a burger that’s bigger than my face. I’m not even exaggerating. It’s massive! I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion. Best decision ever.

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