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Here’s the kicker—sometimes it’s dodgy, yeah? Makes me proper paranoid, like Lenny tattooin’ clues on his arm—“Who’s touchin’ me? Is this legit?” Cos some parlours, mate, they’re fronts for naughty business. Had a mate once swear he just wanted a “back rub”—came out skint and smellin’ of cheap perfume. Poor sod. Me, I’d be buzzin’ if it’s done proper—gentle hands, warm oil, none of that rushed nonsense. Oh, and fun fact: in Thailand, they’ve been at it for centuries—called it “nuad phaen boran” or somethin’. Traditional, like, but with a saucy twist!

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But then, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. They were right next to the taco stand. I mean, c’mon! Who fights over tacos? I was just trying to enjoy my strawberries! I wanted to tell them, “Hey, chill out! Grab a taco and relax!” But I kept my mouth shut.

Beaumont RCSI Cancer Centre and ICS launch pilot initiative for earlier lung cancer diagnosis