Mila Beaumont Erotic Massage ❤️

About Swords

Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, chaotic as fuck, comin’ at ya like a goddamn charcoal burner—smokin’, wild, untamed! So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, lemme tell ya, it’s like—WHOA—it’s this freaky, slippery trip, right? Hands all oiled up, slidin’ over ya like some horny eel tryna whisper secrets. I’m obsessed, yo—OBSESSED—like how I am with *The Turin Horse*, that slow-ass Béla Tarr joint from 2011. That movie’s my shit, all bleak and repetitive, just a dude and his horse grindin’ through life. “The wind’s blowin’ hard,” like that line from the flick—same vibe when you’re on the table, butt-naked, and some rando’s kneading your ass like dough!

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I decided to stroll down Calder Avenue. It’s a nice street, lots of trees, and the sun was shining. I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But then, BAM! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my day, and this bird decides I’m its target practice. I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “What did I do to deserve this?”

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