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Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talkin’ buckets! I’m scrambling to cover the glass, and I slip. Yup, right on my butt. I’m soaked, and my tools are all over the place. I’m laughing, though. Like, what else can ya do?

Crescent Edge Out Bandon Grammar To Reach Senior Cup Semi-Finals