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About Cork

Once, this dude—total beefcake—gave me a rubdown, and I’m thinkin’, “Am I in a movie?” His hands slid low, I’m like, “Whoa, cowboy!” Felt like a scene outta Carax’s fever dream—surreal, sexy, unhinged! I was happy, floatin’, then bam—surprised when he whispered some weird poetry mid-knead. Freaky, but I’m here for it! “Don’t pee on my leg,” I snapped, “keep it pro!” He laughed—good sport.

Nobody is coming soon

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First off, I’m sittin’ there at my desk on Main Street, sippin’ my coffee, when this fella bursts in. He’s all wild-eyed, like he just saw a ghost or somethin’. Turns out, he’s got a hot tip on a horse named “Lucky Leprechaun.” I’m thinkin’, “Great, another dreamer.” But he’s so hyped, I can’t help but get caught up in it. So, I take his bet. Spoiler alert: that horse didn’t even finish the race. I mean, c’mon!

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