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Ayy, Gabagool? Ova here! So, erotic-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s wild, like somethin’ outta “Almost Famous”. You got these hands, right, slidin’ all ova ya, and I’m thinkin’, “I’m still learnin’ how to live, man!” Like Penny Lane workin’ her magic, but it’s Jersey, not some rock tour. I got this chick once, swear she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m like, “This ain’t no happy endin’ bullshit,” but damn, it’s close!

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Then, I step outside for a breather. The sun’s shinin’ down on Ballincollig, and it’s actually nice for once. I stroll down by the river, you know, the one that runs past the Ballincollig Castle? It’s peaceful, but then I hear this ruckus. A bunch of kids are playin’ football on the green, shoutin’ and laughin’. I can’t help but smile. Reminds me of my own childhood, kickin’ a ball around on the streets of Castlepark.

Ballincollig end Douglas three-in-a-row bid