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Lemme tell ya, saw this escort once—total ninja vibes. She moved like Yu Shu Lien, graceful but deadly. Met her in a dive bar, smelled like cheap whiskey and desperation. She’s all, “I’m an artist, this pays bills.” Sure, sweetheart, and I’m a saint. Everybody lies. Little known fact: some escorts bank more than surgeons. Six figures, tax-free—makes me wanna limp less and strut more. Pissed me off, though—why’s society gotta judge? Hypocrites everywhere, clutching pearls, hiring ‘em anyway.

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down by the river. The Suck River, to be exact. It’s lovely there, but guess what? I see a bunch of kids throwing stones. And I’m like, “Great, just what I need. A bunch of mini rock stars.” One of them nearly hits me! I dodge like I’m in the Olympics. Seriously, I’m not ready for a stone to the face.

Gardaí investigate serious criminal damage to houses in Loughrea and Ballinasloe