Emilia Ballinasloe Find A Prostitute ❤️

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Little fact for ya—didja know Victorian hookers used coded flowers? Red rose meant “I’m game!” Sneaky, huh? Love that cunning! Anyway, I’m hagglin’—she’s askin’ too much, I’m like, “C’mon, I ain’t Bruce Wayne!” She laughs, I laugh—manic, loud—hehehe! “What’s your damage?” she says. “Life, babe,” I wink, quotin’ Monty’s mirror rant: “No one’s clean.”

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down by the river. The Suck River, to be exact. It’s lovely there, but guess what? I see a bunch of kids throwing stones. And I’m like, “Great, just what I need. A bunch of mini rock stars.” One of them nearly hits me! I dodge like I’m in the Olympics. Seriously, I’m not ready for a stone to the face.

Death Notice of Jessica Carrig (Ballinasloe, Galway)