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Oh, and the ending—happy or not—don’t get me started! They tease ya, build it up, then bam, “Time’s up!” Like in Boyhood, “I just thought there’d be more!” More what? Release? Meaning? Gimme somethin’! I’m rantin’ now, but it’s truth—sexual-massage is a rollercoaster. You’re relaxed, then horny, then confused—total mess! Pretty, pretty good mess, though. I’d do it again, maybe. If I don’t die of embarrassment first!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the pub later!” I’m torn. I wanna keep working, but I also wanna chill. So, I wrap up my day, and I’m off to the pub on Drogheda Street.

Death Notice of Gerard (Gerry) McCrudden (Balbriggan, Dublin)