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About Swords

Alright, listen up, ye fools! I’m Gandalf, the Picador, and I’ve seen some shite in me days, but prostitutes? They’re a bloody enigma, I tell ya! "You shall not pass!" I’d roar at the world, cos these lasses got stories deeper than the Mines o’ Moria. Watched “Inside Out” – aye, that flick’s me fave, Pete Docter’s a genius – and it’s got me thinkin’. Prostitutes, they’re like Joy and Sadness mashed up, y’know? Runnin’ round with fake smiles, but inside? Total chaos, mate.

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I’m walking down the Main Street, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. And then, BAM! I bump into Mrs. O’Reilly. She’s this sweet old lady who always has a story. Today, she’s raving about some “ghost” she saw near the old railway station. I’m like, “Sure, Mrs. O’Reilly, ghosts are just the spirits of bad decisions.” But she’s dead serious. I mean, who wouldn’t be spooked by the old Balbriggan train station? It’s got that eerie vibe, you know?

Death Notice of Seán Carroll (Balbriggan, Dublin)