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One time, I almost got tangled up—swear on my auntie’s gravy! Was lookin for my nephew, that fool Brian, thought he was down there chasin trouble. Saw this gal wink at me, I said, “Honey, Madea don’t swing that way!” She laughed, said, “You too old anyway!” Ooh, I was hot! But then I chuckled, ‘cause she was right—I ain’t spry no more! Halleluyer!

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So, I take a breather outside, and I’m standing by the harbor. The view is stunning, though. The sea is all choppy, and I can see the boats bobbing around. It’s like a postcard, but I’m too annoyed to appreciate it. I’m thinking about how Balbriggan used to be a bustling port. Now it’s just me and a bunch of seagulls.

Death Notice of Evelyn Dowling (Balbriggan, Dublin)