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I got mad tho—some pimps out there beatin girls, forcin em into this. Pisses me off, like, why you gotta ruin lives, bro? We aliens don’t get that—peace is our jam. But then, happy vibes hit—met this chick once, research gig, she was all “I chose this, pays my med school.” Surprised me, yo—she was legit, no copy, just real as fuck. “What’s authentic anyway?”—movie line again, Abbas knew what’s up.

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But then, I see this guy trying to parallel park. He’s struggling hard. I’m talking 10 minutes of back and forth. I’m just standing there, munching on my crisps, laughing. Finally, he gives up and just drives off. Classic Balally moment, right?

Death Notice of Paul Carey (Balally, Dublin)