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I gotta admit, I’m tickled pink by the creativity some o’ these gals got. They’re sellin’ more’n just a roll in the hay—they’re puttin’ on a show! Kinda like me with my big hair and sparkles, only, uh, less clothes, I reckon! One time, I heard ‘bout this escort who’d bring her pet parrot along—squawkin’ dirty words at the clients! I nearabout died laughin’—my kinda gal! Bet she’d fit right in at that bathhouse with Haku and them.

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Finally, I get my food. It’s hot, crispy, and oh-so-good. I sit by the water, enjoying the view. The sun’s setting, and it’s all golden and pretty. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches a chip right off my plate! I’m yelling, “Hey! That’s mine!” But the bird just flies off, chip in beak, like it’s the king of the world. I can’t even.

See photos as Arklow’s St Patrick’s Day parade winners collect their awards