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About Dundalk

So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

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So, I keep strolling, and I hit up the Arklow Maritime Museum. I’m a sucker for history, you know? But the place is packed! Kids running around, parents yelling. I’m trying to soak in the maritime vibes, but it’s chaos. I overhear some kid say, “Look, Mom! A ship!” And I’m like, “Yeah, buddy, it’s a museum. Not a playground.”

Death Notice of Bridget Murphy (née Wall) (Arklow, Wicklow)