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About Waterford

Sex-dating’s a gamble, odds suck sometimes. You think, “She’s hot,” then—catfish, uggh. Or dude’s profile—6’2, reality—5’8, pathetic. Happy when it works, tho—quick bang, no strings. Surprised me once—girl quoted Cronenberg mid-fuck, “You’re the best, Joey.” Brain melted, hot as hell.

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Finally, I get my food. It’s hot, crispy, and oh-so-good. I sit by the water, enjoying the view. The sun’s setting, and it’s all golden and pretty. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches a chip right off my plate! I’m yelling, “Hey! That’s mine!” But the bird just flies off, chip in beak, like it’s the king of the world. I can’t even.

Death Notice of Sarah (Saney) D'Eathe (Arklow, Wicklow)