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Oh, and their style? Fishnets, heels, lipstick—bam! Beats Marge’s lame dresses any day. I’d totally chill with a whore over some boring nerd. They’d prob’ly get Boonmee’s trippy vibes too—“Time bends, past lives bleed.” Whores live that, man, every night’s a rerun with new suckers.

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Then, I decide to check out the local market on Jl. Sisingamangaraja. It’s packed! I’m weaving through stalls, trying to avoid getting hit by a motorbike. Seriously, it’s like a game of Frogger out here. I find some cool souvenirs, but then I see this guy selling these crazy-looking fruits. I’m like, “What the heck is that?” Turns out, it’s salak. I try it, and wow, it’s like a sweet, crunchy explosion in my mouth. Who knew Tongging had such hidden gems?

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