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Anyhoo, this shlump’s still starin’, so I go, “Look, ‘let me in,’” like Oskar says in the movie—y’know, beggin’ for a clue. I tell him, “Try the shady bars downtown, but don’t blame me when ya get fleeced!” He’s all happy, like I handed him gold. Me? I’m laughin’ inside—*HA-HA-HA!*—’cause he’s gonna end up with some chick who’ll rob him blind. Oh, the drama!

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But then, our team scores back! The crowd goes nuts! I’m hugging random strangers, high-fiving everyone. It’s pure chaos, and I’m loving every second. But then, I get a text. My buddy’s like, “Dude, your guitar’s at the café!” I’m like, “What?!” Panic mode activated.