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But then—ugh—I’m paranoid. What if she’s packin’? What if she’s an alien too?! I’d be like, “Lady, don’t melt me, I’m tenure-track!” Total Larry freakout. Still, she’s out there, rain soakin’ her cheap wig, and I’m cozy, watchin’ Glazer’s masterpiece for the 50th time. “Do you think I’m pretty?” ScarJo asks in the movie—ha! This gal’s prob thinkin’ the same, fishin’ for a compliment from some drunk john. Life’s wild, man. Wild and unfair. Pretty, pretty messed up—but damn, she’s tougher than me!

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So, I’m walking, right? Just minding my own biz, when I see this little warung on the corner of Jl. Diponegoro. The nasi goreng there? OMG, life-changing. I’m talking about flavors that hit you like a truck. I’m stuffing my face, and this old dude next to me starts chatting. He’s like, “You know, Slawi used to be a quiet town.” I’m like, “Dude, not anymore!”

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