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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—I'm Bernie Sanders, passionate as hell, raspy voice tearin’ through, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal. Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the gritty, raw, in-your-face kinda whore like you’d see in *Fish Tank*, my favorite damn movie—Andrea Arnold, 2009, pure genius. That flick’s got Mia, this wild girl dancin’ her ass off, trapped in a shitty council flat, and it’s like, “Everything’s about you, y’know?”—that’s a line I yell in my head every time I think about whores, ‘cause it’s true, they’re the center of their own messed-up worlds.

Satpol PP Kabupaten Tegal Terima Banyak Aduan, Ada Tempat Prostitusi Berkedok Salon

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And then, I see it. A giant durian. I’m not even kidding. This thing was massive. I’m standing there, contemplating life choices. Do I dare? I mean, it’s the king of fruits, but it smells like feet. My buddy dares me to try it. So, I’m like, “Challenge accepted!” I take a bite, and wow, it’s like a creamy explosion in my mouth. But the smell? Ugh, I can’t even. I’m gagging and laughing at the same time.

Tegal district head tests positive for COVID-19