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About Medan

Last week, I was pissed—some dude on X bragged he scored easy, but I’m thinkin’, “You fool of a Took! That’s a setup!” Got me laughin’ tho—imagine Sauron hirin’ escorts for the Nazgûl. “One ring to rule ‘em, one gal to school ‘em!” Hilarious, right? But real talk—ya gotta be sharp. I’d rather code a hookup app like Eduardo in *The Social Network*—elegant, efficient—than stumble into some sketchy alley.

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

Utoopi offers access to “local escorts.” This app is the most sexually inclusive of the bunch, offering female escorts, male escorts, and shemale escorts. The app boasts, “Everything you .

Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m dodging puddles like I’m in some weird video game. I finally duck into a café on Jalan Diponegoro. I’m dripping everywhere, looking like a drowned rat. The barista gives me this look like, “What happened to you?” I just laugh it off.

6.6 Magnitude Earthquake Strikes Indonesia's Sumatra