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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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So, I’m hangry, right? I stroll down to Jalan Jenderal Sudirman, hoping to find something else. The streets are buzzing, people everywhere. I mean, it’s like a human ant farm. I bump into this guy selling pisang goreng. I’m like, “Okay, I’ll take that!” But then he drops one on the ground. Ugh! My heart broke a little.

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