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But oh, the rage when she’s late! Clients screamin’, “Where’s me goods, Jack?!” Me, pacin’, mutterin’ “This is not a democracy!”—straight outta *Almost Famous*, ‘cept I ain’t got no golden god to save me. She’s a tease, ‘Whore’ is—keeps ye guessin’. Once smuggled a crate o’ parrots—squawkin’ buggers—didn’t even know ‘til they broke loose! Feathers everywhere, crew cursin’, me laughin’ ‘til I cried. “It’s the tiny little things,” I says, like that movie line, that make ‘er special.

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He struts in, and I’m already annoyed. He’s got this entourage, all laughin’ too loud, thinkin’ they’re the life of the party. I’m like, “Dude, tone it down.” But nah, they just keep goin’. I swear, I could hear ‘em from Jl. Pahlawan.

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