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Ok, real talk – erotic-massage ain’t just sexy time. It’s old, like ancient old! Did ya know the Romans were all about it? They’d hit up bathhouses, get massaged with olive oil – freaky, huh? Bet they were like, “This is the life!” Meanwhile, I’m over here, jealous, stuck with my lame desk chair. Ugh, makes me mad – why don’t we have bathhouses now? Gimme that oily goodness!

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Then, I head over to the market on Jalan Pahlawan. It’s a total madhouse! People everywhere, haggling like it’s an Olympic sport. I’m tryin’ to guide this group of tourists, and they’re all like, “What’s that? What’s this?” I’m like, “Dude, chill! Just soak it all in!” But they’re not havin’ it.

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