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Alright, so here’s the deal—prostitute, man, what a gig! I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, snarky as hell, thinkin’—prostitution’s like the OG freelance hustle. “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I betcha those Russian hookers got stories wilder than a moose on vodka. Srsly, tho, it’s a job that’s been around forever—oldest profession, right? Like, way before LinkedIn was pinging you with “business opportunities.” I’m imagining this chick, let’s call her Candy—cuz why not?—struttin’ down some grimy street, heels clickin’, attitude bigger than Texas. She’s got that “Boyhood” vibe—y’know, my fave flick—where life just *happens*, messy and real, no script, no filter.

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Anyway, I keep walkin’ and head to the riverbank. The Mentaya River is lookin’ beautiful today. Sun’s shinin’, water’s glistening. I take a deep breath, tryin’ to chill. But then I see this group of kids playin’ by the water. They’re havin’ a blast, laughin’ and splashin’. I can’t help but smile. Kids really know how to live, huh?

Man charged in shooting in Georgetown County’s Sampit community that injured one