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So, I’m cruisin’ the backroads, lookin’ for a gal who’s, uh, “available,” right? Ain’t no Craigslist for this gig no more—learned that the hard way! Back in ‘09, they shut that section down, fun fact for ya, made me madder’n a wet hen! Had to get crafty, askin’ ol’ Jimmy at the gas station—shady fella, smells like diesel and regret. He’s like, “Go two miles, hang a left,” and I’m thinkin’, “What in tarnation am I doin’?”

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Mister, can I drive the tractor?” I’m like, “Dude, you’re like 10!” But he’s got that look in his eyes, you know? So I let him hop in for a sec. He’s grinnin’ ear to ear, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, I was like that once.”

PPUR ferry service to implement rate increase