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I saunter over, cool as you like, “Shaken, not stirred, love.” She laughs—proper throaty, makes me grin. “Tenner for a quickie,” she goes. Bargain, innit? But I’m ragin’ inside—ten quid? Inflation’s a bitch! Used to be a fiver in the ‘80s, swear down. Still, I’m chuffed—beats chasin’ Blofeld. We duck into an alley, all dark and damp, like the estate in the movie. “It’s all fucked, innit?” I mutter, quotin’ Mia’s mum. She nods, smirkin’, like she gets it.

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But wait, it gets crazier. As I’m eating, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m trying to enjoy my meal, but they’re making it hard. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Man, relationships are wild.”

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