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About Semarang

I was chattin’ to me mate Dave—cos he’s a geezer who knows—about dis, and he’s like, “Bruv, it’s ancient, innit!” Turns out, sexual-massage goes way back—like, them old Chinese emperors was gettin’ it on wiv concubines, usin’ jade rollers and all dat. Little known fact, fam! Blew me mind, I was like, “Wot, they was freaky back den?” Made me happy, tho—history’s got some sauce!

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring! Like, seriously? I thought I was in a tropical paradise, not a monsoon. Everyone scrambled for cover. I ended up under this tiny awning with a bunch of strangers. We were all laughing and sharing stories. It was kinda nice, you know? Just a bunch of random folks bonding over the rain.

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