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Alright, listen up, you degenerates—sex-dating’s a freakin’ mess, ain’t it? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Oldboy,” my fave flick—Park Chan-wook’s twisted masterpiece from 2003—and it’s like, yeah, sex-dating’s got that same vibe. Dark, messy, full of secrets. “Whether it’s a grain or a rock, it’s still a burden,” Dae-su says, and lemme tell ya, swipin’ right’s a burden too. Everybody lies, pal—every damn profile’s a con. “I’m fun, fit, 6’2”—bullshit, they’re 5’9 with a beer gut. Sex-dating’s like that hammer scene—brutal, raw, and you’re never ready.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in Pakisaji, right? The sun’s blaring through my window on Jl. Raya Pakisaji. I’m like, “Ugh, another day, another dollar.” But little did I know, today was gonna be a rollercoaster.

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