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Now, I ain’t sayin’ I’d hire her—Madea don’t play that—but I was curious. She starts talkin’ ‘bout her life, how she “recalls her past lives” like Uncle Boonmee. Says she was a nurse once, centuries ago, healin’ soldiers. I’m like, “Well, halleluyer, you upgraded to healin’ somethin’ else now!” She laughed, and I did too—couldn’t help it. Her vibe was wild, like them ghosts in the movie, floatin’ ‘round, tellin’ secrets. “I am with you in the dark,” she whispers, all mysterious. Gave me chills, y’all!

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But then, I hear someone shout. I look up, and it’s that same dude from earlier with the soursop! He’s arguing with a guy over a parking spot. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a parking spot! But they’re going at it like it’s the end of the world. I’m just sitting there, munching on some snacks I bought, thinking, “This is better than reality TV.”

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