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About Semarang

I reckon sex-dating’s proper sneaky. Back in da day, you’d chat up a lass at a pub, now it’s all swipes and nudes. Did ya know – some boffins say 1 in 5 hookups start online now? Mental, innit! I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ bare posts bout ghostin’ after a shag. Makes me vexed, fam – why you gonna bone and bounce? Rude, bruv! But then I clocked this fit Russian bird on a site, all signs and sexy vibes – I was gassed! Nearly broke me phone typin’ her up, hands shakin’ like I’m in a horror flick.

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And then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and BAM! He knocks over a whole stack of durians. I’m talkin’ about a durian explosion! The smell? Ugh, it’s like a foot in a sock. I’m gagging, but the kid? He just laughs and runs off. I’m standing there, covered in durian guts, thinkin’, “This is NOT how I pictured my day.”

Snickers, Twix to be deforestation-free