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I don’t shag her, nah—Bond’s got standards. But I slip her a tip, tell her to ditch the creep watchin’ from the alley. She’s shocked, eyes wide—happy, maybe? “You’re a gent,” she says. I wink, “Always, darling.” Walk off feelin’ smug, but also gutted—world’s a mess. “The only truth is beauty,” I mutter, Sorrentino-style, kickin’ a pebble. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy. Findin’ one who’s free? Fuckin’ impossible. Cheers, mate—another martini, yeah? Shaken, not stirred.

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Then, while I’m tryin’ to fix this old lathe, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush out, and what do I see? A motorbike and a car, all tangled up like they’re in a bad rom-com. The biker’s fine, just a lil’ shaken. But the car? Man, it looked like it lost a fight with a dragon. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of chaos, right?

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