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Pisses me off, though—she’s always playin’ the victim card. “Warden, I’m innocent!” she whines, and I’m like, “Don’t pee on my leg, sister, I got eyes!” Made me happy once, tho—cracked me up when she tried flirtin’ with Big Tina for extra smokes. Tina shut her down so fast, I nearly choked on my donut! Surprised me too—she’s got guts, I’ll give her that. Thought in my head? “This chick’s either nuts or a genius.” Probly both, let’s be real.

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So, I’m trying to calm them down, but it’s like herding cats. Finally, I just throw a round of shots their way. “On the house!” I yell. They quiet down, and I’m thinking, “Phew, crisis averted.” But then, the wild-haired dude starts dancing on the bar. I’m like, “What is happening?!”

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