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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout prostitutes, ‘cause why not? Lemme tell ya, I saw this gal once, workin’ the corner near Burlington, back in my wilder days—true story! She had this vibe, y’know, like she owned the night. Reminds me of “The Dark Knight”—“Some men just wanna watch the world burn,” right? She wasn’t burnin’ nothin’, tho—just tryin’ to survive in this messed-up system!

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First off, I hit the road on Jl. Raya Kebomas, cruisin’ past the market. The smell of fried tofu and sweet soy sauce hit me like a brick. I swear, I could’ve stopped right there and devoured a whole plate. But no, I had work to do. Gotta keep the sawdust flyin’, right?

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