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Another fact: in Japan, it’s tied to Geisha skills, but hush-hush, super secret. They’d use music, incense, whole vibe, not just hands. Made me jealous, honestly, why can’t every massage be that epic? But then, some dude told me about a spa that played death metal during it—death metal! I was like, “Ruh-roh! No thanks, I’ll pass!”

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We start workin’, and it’s all good until we get this old machine in. It’s a real piece of junk. I mean, it’s older than my grandma! We’re tryin’ to fix it, but it’s like it’s got a mind of its own. I’m cursing under my breath, and Rudi’s laughin’ at me. “You talk to machines like they’re people!” he says. Well, maybe they are!

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