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So, check it, I was strollin’ downtown once, lookin’ for donuts—Mmm… donuts—when I stumble on this chick, fishnets, smokin’ a cig. She’s all, “Hey, big guy, need company?” I’m like, D’oh! Wrong turn, Homer! But real talk, it’s wild how open it is out there. Made me kinda mad, ya know? Like, why’s society gotta push folks into that? Capitalism, man, screwin’ us all. But then I laughed—she called me “big guy”! Me! A donut-chompin’ schlub!

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Then, I get this wild idea. I’m gonna show these tourists what real Jayapura is about. So, I start doing this goofy dance with my pig. Yeah, I know, I’m a weirdo. But hey, it’s all in good fun! And guess what? They start laughing and filming me! I’m like, “Yesss, I’m a star!”

6.1-magnitude quake causes brief panic in Jayapura - National