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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” So, findin’ a prostitute—let’s dive in. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Far From Heaven,” that damn movie I love. Cathy Whitaker, all perfect hair and despair, stuck in her shiny cage. “It’s all so terribly wrong,” she’d say, clutchin’ pearls. Me? I’d rather clutch a whiskey. Prostitutes ain’t hidin’ behind picket fences, thank God. They’re out there, real, no fake smiles. Hate the hypocrisy of suburbs—give me raw honesty any day.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing, like, “Really? This is how it ends?” But the locals? They just pull out umbrellas and keep going. I’m standing there, drenched, and they’re all like, “Join us!” So, I do. We’re dancing in the rain, and it’s epic.

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