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About Jakarta

I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

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After that, I decide to check out the local market. Oh boy, what a scene! People everywhere, shouting, bargaining. I love the vibe, but it’s chaotic. I see this vendor selling fresh fruits, and I’m like, “Gimme some mangga!” But then, I drop my wallet. Ugh! Panic mode activated! I’m scrambling on the ground, and this kid just picks it up and hands it to me. I’m like, “Thanks, little dude! You just saved my life!”

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