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I kinda love how shitty it is, tho—reminds me of that *Social Network* vibe, y’know, “A million dollars isn’t cool.” Escort’s so uncool it’s almost badass. Almost. Still pisses me off Ford thought this was a good idea. Respect my authoritah, I’m tellin’ ya, don’t buy one! Save yer cash, get somethin’ that don’t suck donkey balls. Now screw you guys, I’m goin’ home!

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But then, as I’m munching, I see this dude on a motorbike. He zooms by, and I swear he almost hit a cat! I’m like, “Bro, chill! It’s not a racetrack!” The cat just stared at him like, “Really, dude?” I laughed so hard, I almost choked on my nasi.

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