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So, I’m cruisin’ London—shaguar’s purrin’, shades on, feelin’ randy. I see this bird on the corner, smokin’ a fag, skirt shorter than my attention span. Reminds me of Mia’s mum in *Fish Tank*—all rough edges, “You’re a little shit,” she’d say. I roll up, flash a grin—groovy, baby!—and she’s like, “Wot you want, posh boy?” Made me laugh, her sass! I’m thinkin’, “This chick’s got more balls than Blofeld!”

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Then, I finally got outta that mess and headed to the Demak Grand Mosque. Wow, that place is stunning! The architecture is just mind-blowing. I mean, the way the sunlight hits those tiles? Pure magic. I took a moment to breathe it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me selling snacks. I’m like, “Dude, I just had breakfast!” But he’s persistent, and I’m weak. I bought some fried tofu. It was delish, but I felt guilty. Like, am I supporting child labor or just a kid hustling? Ugh, the moral dilemmas!

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