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Hiss! Me, Gollum, raspy voice—actuary in Russia, yesss! Findin’ a prostitute, eh, tricky business, my precious! Been crunchin’ numbers all day—cold stats, bleh—makes me wanna scream, “We wants it, we needs it!” Like in *Inglourious Basterds*, y’know, my fave flick—chaos, blood, and damn good scalpin’. So, prostitutes here? Sneaky, precious, sneaky! Ya don’t just stroll Red Square and yell, “Hey, lass, how much?” Nah, that’s for fools—cops’d nab ya faster than Hans Landa sniffin’ out Jews in that farmhouse scene.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I’m talking monsoon-level rain. I dash for cover under this awning on Jalan Jendral Sudirman. I’m soaked, and my notes are ruined. I’m cursing the weather, but then I see this street musician. He’s playing the guitar, and it’s actually kinda nice. I forget my anger for a sec.

Ralph Hollander Obituary (2008) - New York, NY - New York Times