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Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

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After that, I strolled over to the Cibinong Square. It was packed! Families, kids, and all that jazz. I saw this little kid trying to fly a kite. He was so into it, and I couldn’t help but smile. Kids have this magic, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, the wind picked up, and boom! The kite got stuck in a tree. Poor kid’s face was priceless. I felt bad, but I couldn’t stop laughing.

Ascott Officially Open the New Harris in Cibinong, a Vibrant Stay in a New Destination